I still don’t really accept my son’s death. OK not at all. I don’t think there will ever be a day where I truly am good with it. That seems pretty impossible. I think I am at the tip of the iceberg of comprehending it. I keep feeling like I am about to fall from a cliff at any moment where I will be immersed in the reality of his absence. Right now I feel sick and heartbroken and tired. Very very tired. Yet held. Held by the saviors arms. Held up by prayer.
Today at church it was absolutely perfect. Every song and every word went straight into my heart and just made it swell. For a moment I thought, Lucas is not next to me like he always was. That hurt. Yet I just kept focusing on the beauty of the service. The sermon was spot on. It was about accepting people. It was a Lucas sermon.
“Accept one another then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.”
Lucas was really good at that. Way better than I was. That was something I always struggled with, dealing with people who bugged me for whatever reason. I would starting talking bad about them and he would always stop me. He was always gently guiding me into being a better person. I remember when he was in kindergarten there was a little girl who had down’s syndrome and his teacher would tell me how much he wanted to help her in any way he could. He absolutely positively accepted people for who they were. He not only accepted but loved and cared for them. He had a good word to say about everyone. Acceptance is so hard for many many people. If they don’t look like us, act like us, talk like us, even believe like us, they’re not in the club. I am absolutely guilty of this. Yet I will never look at things the same way now. We need to accept not just because its the nice thing to do…but because it is how Christ accepted us. As Bob King said this morning, Christ didn’t just look at us and say,” Ok fix yourselves, straighten yourself out, and then I’ll save you”. No he accepts and saves the dirtiest and filthiest of sinners. We are all different and we are all children of God.
Keep Lucas’s legacy going…Accept one another.